Tonight is Too Long (I – V)

With the hours that pass

My stomach clenches tighter

Watching the hourglass

Drop grains of purple fire

The heat rises

As I see your image burn

You tell me no lies, and.. yet…

I feel the concern

As real as concrete

And as heavy

I stand on my feet,

Brace myself – I am ready

I’ll take the hit

Though I know not if it’s coming

I’ll handle it

And navigate this with cunning

I’ll handle the pain

As I let my heart thaw

There’s so much to gain

Rise above it like Ra

Have I been here before?

Yes, I think I have

If I were keepin score

I’d be down by half

If points were in pride,

And life were a game…

If only I could cried

Maybe my feelings would change

But maybe that’s not for the best

I should let my bird fly

Put our love to the test

That most special flower will bloom, or die

Attempting to sleep

With uncertainty teeming

Is like storming a keep

With every extremity bleeding

Delusive and futile

Abusive and brutal

Yet I choose this dilemma

As if it gives me pleasure –

As if it felt good

But it feels like Hell

Go and throw on your wood

The fire burns well

I’m happy for you

To experience the light show

The emotional high of the new

The chemical rush that made time slow

Though for a moment

I was brushed aside

You were emboldened

By our pact to never lie

You told me all

And removed the ball

Sinking in my gut

But my fatal flaw

Left my heart cut

It’s beat is not the same

It’s strained

And stained

And I’ve only myself to blame

How could it be

That you’re already a memory

A figment of my past

You who I thought would marry me

That belief I held as fact

And though you never stabbed me in the back

You pierced me through the front

The dagger went in, and I bled black

Your pain is sharp, not blunt

It wasn’t a stunt

But reality

That eviscerated me

And though it could be far worse

The knot in my stomach is gone

Cut away to make an effigy, cursed

Emptied me.. tonight is too long

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